I Have No Idea How I Do Not Get Fired

At work, my particular department has grown quite a bit in the past year. The other day, the boss sent an email requesting each team member write a bio for ourselves to share with clients, new employees, etc.

This was mine.

Patrick Graney was raised in the wild by a rouge family of platypi. Shunned by his peers for lack of a venomous spur, he slowly integrated to Man’s World, despite it being occupied by “a feeble bunch of tailless freaks.”  Patrick has worked in various media outlets before settling into the internet, because what else is he going to do?

Due to his unusual upbringing, he is the only person who finds the “duck lips” phenomenon attractive.

If they ask for a photo I’m sending one of Beaker.

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