The Norcross Crowd Sourced Bio

Many moons ago, when people still used Facebook*, Norcross was fully getting into the swing of being self-employed. It finally hit a point where he needed a real bio and didn’t want to write one. Instead, he turned to Twitter and proclaimed it should be crowd sourced.

Yeah, I know.

Being a Friday night, some people posted a couple things and went about their life. Since I do not have one of those, I may have had a beer or two before I started contributing. And contributing. And…well, I was amusing myself.

All the tweets were collected, but Norcross never posted them. Not as a bio, it never showed on his blog and wasn’t mentioned again.

Until now. Because I need content.

I believe these are all of them, properly attributed. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Norcross Crowd Sourced Bio of November 2010.

Andrew Norcross

  • Your hot dog is no match for my bratwurst. Good show, Phineas and Ferb (cc @JohnnyBTruant )

Eric Marden

  • just make that your new bio: “I fucking hate writing a bio. I wanna just crowdsource the fucker”

Jim Jam Jones

  • smart ass that knows his shit

Denice in Texas

  • “I’m a fan of hats and tats. Cats, not so much.”

thecultureofme

  • a magnificent help. also, shit.

Daniel Hoang

  • Andrew Norcross is an information technology specialist with experience in content management systems and design. Mr. Norcross …

Ryan Duff

  • Overall cool fucking dude.

Justin McCullough

  • I am the emergency exit you seek when WP blows up or just plain blows.

Ryan Paugh

  • It wouldn’t surprise me if you could go an entire week without sleep.

Ryan Knapp

  • You know who is a great man for sharing loads of knowledge? @norcross. He gives and gives every day.

Jason

  • your new bio: Andrew J Norcross.. the “J” is for FUCK YOU

Joey

  • It puts the lotion in the basket…
  • When @norcross says jump you don’t say how high. In fact, you don’t say anything at all. Talking back makes him very angry.
  • mother hit him once…..once.

bri

  • saved the day. or the shitty blog template. whatever.

Jayvie Canono

  • Florida casual!

Renee

  • if he can’t take the deep-fryer and coffeepot with him in the afterlife, there will BE no afterlife. For anyone.
  • don’t mess with a guy who’s toddler knows the entire Slayer discography.
  • owns 42 coffee cups and uses all of them. Daily.

Me

  • Poops in the woods.
  • You can save 15% off your aggravation by switching to @norcross.
  • Worked for the man. Wasn’t a fan. Now is The Man.
  • He doesn’t get hangovers. Although he’ll watch and laugh as you develop one.
  • He’ll fuck on your table but he won’t build one for you.
  • Tables. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. #princessbrideforthewin
  • RSS’s? I don’t believe they exist. #princessbrideforthewin
  • How about @norcross: That’s a really big Twinkee.
  • he ain’t got time for your jibba-jabba.
  • He wants to see your font, not your face.
  • Sure, he’ll build a site to your exact specifications. He’ll also mock you so brutally you’ll cry in the bathroom & call your mom.
  • His geek power increases with the length of his hair. He’s like Sampson, except, you know, a computer guy.
  • Firm believer that anything can be, and is better, fried. Deep-fry a Red Bull infused cigarette & he might die of happiness.
  • His house sank. What’re you gonna do?
  • Once killed and ate a unicorn. Because it’s MEAT, that’s why.
  • Once punched a dwarf.
  • Bathes. Occasionally.
  • He does own a pair of long pants and a shirt with sleeves. He CHOOSES not to wear them.
  • Once he tamed a dragon.
  • When your site is designed, you want the guy playing Slayer & Bad Religion at ear-bleeding levels. Because then you know it ROCKS.
  • Made good decisions for friends. Makes questoinable decisions by occasionally listening to them.
  • Made a location for “Dead Hooker Storage” on FourSquare. And used it.
  • @norcross: Piss your boss off.
  • Hasn’t read a book in years. Has built an empire.
  • SPAM Filter for bullshit.
  • His body may need repair, his sites do not.
  • Crowd surf as a kid, crowd source as an adult.
  • Your choice is the guy who gives you buzz words or the guy who says fuck. A lot. Who do you trust more?
  • Declares jihad on your shit design.
  • He’ll donkey punch your website.
  • Armed with a brutally honest opinion and chops to back it up, he lays waste to inferior code.
  • Not firmly convinced God isn’t a duck.
  • He’s made enough bad decisions to see them before they impact you.
  • You’ll work with him in spite of yourself.
  • Not afraid to tell you you’re wrong.
  • The internet isn’t a series of tubes, it’s more like a truck. And @nrcross drives a big-ass truck.
  • Tattoos. Coffee. Code. These things matter.
  • When it comes to your product, he won’t fuck off to get a taco.
  • His beard is patchy, his code is not.
  • 30% more Geek Power than your average brand.

And finally, one from Ravis Harnell

  • Dealing with @betthearm since 2004.

 

* I know people use it now, but this is a blog. It’s timeless.

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