Many moons ago, when people still used Facebook*, Norcross was fully getting into the swing of being self-employed. It finally hit a point where he needed a real bio and didn’t want to write one. Instead, he turned to Twitter and proclaimed it should be crowd sourced.
Yeah, I know.
Being a Friday night, some people posted a couple things and went about their life. Since I do not have one of those, I may have had a beer or two before I started contributing. And contributing. And…well, I was amusing myself.
All the tweets were collected, but Norcross never posted them. Not as a bio, it never showed on his blog and wasn’t mentioned again.
Until now. Because I need content.
I believe these are all of them, properly attributed. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Norcross Crowd Sourced Bio of November 2010.
- Your hot dog is no match for my bratwurst. Good show, Phineas and Ferb (cc @JohnnyBTruant )
- just make that your new bio: “I fucking hate writing a bio. I wanna just crowdsource the fucker”
- smart ass that knows his shit
- “I’m a fan of hats and tats. Cats, not so much.”
- a magnificent help. also, shit.
- Andrew Norcross is an information technology specialist with experience in content management systems and design. Mr. Norcross …
- Overall cool fucking dude.
- I am the emergency exit you seek when WP blows up or just plain blows.
- It wouldn’t surprise me if you could go an entire week without sleep.
- You know who is a great man for sharing loads of knowledge? @norcross. He gives and gives every day.
- your new bio: Andrew J Norcross.. the “J” is for FUCK YOU
- It puts the lotion in the basket…
- When @norcross says jump you don’t say how high. In fact, you don’t say anything at all. Talking back makes him very angry.
- mother hit him once…..once.
- saved the day. or the shitty blog template. whatever.
- Florida casual!
- if he can’t take the deep-fryer and coffeepot with him in the afterlife, there will BE no afterlife. For anyone.
- don’t mess with a guy who’s toddler knows the entire Slayer discography.
- owns 42 coffee cups and uses all of them. Daily.
- Poops in the woods.
- You can save 15% off your aggravation by switching to @norcross.
- Worked for the man. Wasn’t a fan. Now is The Man.
- He doesn’t get hangovers. Although he’ll watch and laugh as you develop one.
- He’ll fuck on your table but he won’t build one for you.
- Tables. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. #princessbrideforthewin
- RSS’s? I don’t believe they exist. #princessbrideforthewin
- How about @norcross: That’s a really big Twinkee.
- he ain’t got time for your jibba-jabba.
- He wants to see your font, not your face.
- Sure, he’ll build a site to your exact specifications. He’ll also mock you so brutally you’ll cry in the bathroom & call your mom.
- His geek power increases with the length of his hair. He’s like Sampson, except, you know, a computer guy.
- Firm believer that anything can be, and is better, fried. Deep-fry a Red Bull infused cigarette & he might die of happiness.
- His house sank. What’re you gonna do?
- Once killed and ate a unicorn. Because it’s MEAT, that’s why.
- Once punched a dwarf.
- Bathes. Occasionally.
- He does own a pair of long pants and a shirt with sleeves. He CHOOSES not to wear them.
- Once he tamed a dragon.
- When your site is designed, you want the guy playing Slayer & Bad Religion at ear-bleeding levels. Because then you know it ROCKS.
- Made good decisions for friends. Makes questoinable decisions by occasionally listening to them.
- Made a location for “Dead Hooker Storage” on FourSquare. And used it.
- @norcross: Piss your boss off.
- Hasn’t read a book in years. Has built an empire.
- SPAM Filter for bullshit.
- His body may need repair, his sites do not.
- Crowd surf as a kid, crowd source as an adult.
- Your choice is the guy who gives you buzz words or the guy who says fuck. A lot. Who do you trust more?
- Declares jihad on your shit design.
- He’ll donkey punch your website.
- Armed with a brutally honest opinion and chops to back it up, he lays waste to inferior code.
- Not firmly convinced God isn’t a duck.
- He’s made enough bad decisions to see them before they impact you.
- You’ll work with him in spite of yourself.
- Not afraid to tell you you’re wrong.
- The internet isn’t a series of tubes, it’s more like a truck. And @nrcross drives a big-ass truck.
- Tattoos. Coffee. Code. These things matter.
- When it comes to your product, he won’t fuck off to get a taco.
- His beard is patchy, his code is not.
- 30% more Geek Power than your average brand.
And finally, one from Ravis Harnell
- Dealing with @betthearm since 2004.
* I know people use it now, but this is a blog. It’s timeless.